worth dying for.

Tomorrow when I go back after my thanksgiving break:

Until Christmas break:

 

Christmas break:

After Christmas break until Spring Break:

SUMMER’S HERE:

When school starts again:

Breaks and weekends will go like this:

 

Time during school with idiots and terrible teachers will go like this:

 

BUT THEN I GRADUATE AND REALIZE I’M DONE WITH THIS SHIT FOREVER:

i never felt like this before. i don’t even understand why i do what i do or why i say what i say. all i want to do is cry. never stop. just think about eating makes me feel sick. i don’t feel to see no one, but i feel so lonely. i don’t even want to sleep. since few days, i make awful dreams. all my dreams remind me about the things that hurt me, the things that make me wanna disappear , those things that i wish i could just completely forget forever. this weekend was the worst i had since a very long time. i felt like it would never last. all i can do right now is hope that the week will be better.

I remember when we first met. You were this funny guy, not especially cute or hot, just really funny and nice. Me, I was only a stupid girl obsessed by one of your best friends. We started to know each other a little bit in secondary 1, around april or may ‘09. We were in the same art class and were having fun, me, you, your friends and mines. Finally, i started dating your best friend. It didn’t last and he didn’t treated me well. I wasn’t in love with me for real, so you almost forced him to tell me the truth and stop hurt me. You were so nice with me. After that, i fell in love with another of your best friend. You did not like it because he changed so much to impress me. You told it to me, but i didn’t listen to you.And then, another of your best friend told me the same thing. We talked a lot, me and him, and i finally fell in love also with him. I did not last with him too, he was moving and did not even say goodbye to me. I didn’t see you during two months, the vacations, but i thought a lot about you during this time. You were the only one who always have been nice with me, even if we didn’t talk a lot together, even if me and my bf were laughting at you, you didn’t care. When school started next year, you had a crush on one of my best friend so we started to talk more. After a month or two, we became best friends. We talked a lot everyday and were having so much fun. Slowly, our relation progressed and you started to have feelings for me. At the beginning, it wasn’t reciprocal. I loved you more than just a friend but i guess i did not want to spoil things with you. But I did all i could to keep our friendship like it was, we where spending a lot of time together, talking for hours each night on msn. But everything changed a day. I missed my school bus, so you stayed with me. It started snowing, the first snow of the year. We spent the evening together, It was cold outside so we cuddled a lot. We were acting like a couple. This night, i started to be confused again on my feelings. I knew that i loved you more than just a friend. It was obvious. But I wasn’t sure if i loved you enough to be your girlfriend. So we stayed friend for few weeks. Then, you started to say that you were having feelings for one of my best friends. You knew me. You knew that what always works with me is jealousy. You talked about her to me. And it helped me to realize that I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be the only girl that matter for you. I wanted to be yours, forever. And this is how we started dating. All this happened a year ago. And everyday, I love you more. I know that I want to spend my life with you and I really don’t care about our age or what people think. I love you from all my heart and you’re everything for me ♥